quiet times.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
three words. camp was awesome.
it was a first for me going off to church camp after i went into secondary school, and i must say it was amazing. maybe it was the times i actually felt god in my life, or the times i actually spent with people or the midnight walks we had, or even that bowling spree we had. but one thing was sure; the campsite definitely deserved its 5-star rating.
woke up with a splitting headache, but now. it kind of travelled downwards. maybe it was the lack of sleep the day before? or maybe it was the realisation of something closer to the heart? maybe. just maybe.
i had to agree with you for one; the scenery was awesome. i mean, apart from the star littered sky, the grass wet with morning dew, the serenity of the whole place itself just calmed me.
i.. just am speechless.
on the last day of camp, we went for this morning walk thru the golf course. took pictures and stuff, thenn we went to have QT at the corner of the building itself. it was then. i started praying and praying, and couldnt stop. it seemed that i just had alot to tell Him, and that throughout the whole 15mins or so, i was so. moved. i believe that god has answered me, and that i wanna thank him. Then this song just came up around me, like a whole orchestra just magically appeared somewhere near and began playing. it goes like:
Lord, i come into your presence
Here i stand, in awesome reverence
Falling before, the wonders of your Name.
I didnt know the song really well, but after that. it was just pure magic. i seemed to remember every word, every tune of the song, and began singing it in my mind.
Make me what you want me to be
Teach me your ways
I lay down my life before you
Throw down my crowns before you
Give up my all. for your Name.
I know i dont do QT often, but when i do. I really feel someone with me. Someone i can actually talk to. Someone i can really trust. Someone who knows me inside out. Someone who surpasses all human intelligence. I felt calmed by his presence with me then. Maybe its this waking up call for me. To start organising the year end youth camp. to attend church more regularly. to serve with my soul and my heart. to give up my all. i asked sam what was the title, but he didnt know. then you told me. worthy to be praised. true enough. he is really worthy to be praised.
if you are reading this. dont be such a loner. i was once like that remember? but look. ive definitely changed. you should too. you know, we can always talk if you need to. its just 8 numbers away. promise.
Three is definitely a nice number, but three's a crowd, and two is perfect.
so on the 2nd day of the camp, which is also the 2nd last day of the camp we kind of celebrated techun's birthday. 12midnight we went to room 226 to surprise him with an oreo birthday cake:D i could tell he liked it. man, who wouldnt. hey dude. if you are reading this. dont say i didnt write on your birthday card. happy birthday, from guesss who(:
i really suspect this whole "dear" thing. isnt it just what you call everyone? sometimes i feel that hey so whats the point of having me as that when you dont really need me? i mean, for security purposes? or as a last resort, when theres nobody else to talk to? tell me. theres really no need for me when theres that "dar" guy, or serene, or just anyone else right. so i just thought, hey maybe, we should just cut it off. how naive of me. i actually thought.. nvm. was reading thru your blog this morning, and unexpectedly. it served as a heartbreaker. i know how unfair i was. like only talking to you when i needed someone else, or like not replying and stuff. and sometimes, i really regret that. i just really cant believe that i woke up this morning with this thought. about how im gonna make it up to you. and.. other stuff. but i guess it aint important now, right? your heart's not here. its with somebody else. but i really enjoyed the times we had the last few days, and i hope you did too. but so maybe i should just. pay back what i owe you, and leave it at that. cuz i know. that i'll forever be just a small little kid, aged 15, aka "dear, or that outram sec guy, or andrew", with no strings attached to you.
i'll pretend nothing had happened, until you read this. till then, good luck with him.
-inscribed at 8:57 AM